53 Terrible Jokes in Under 4 Minutes

Best Joke Video Ever.

Hank did not use my favorite, though: What’s the difference between a novelist and a large pepperoni pizza? A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.


posted October 19th via source with 243,949 notes -


matching icons for u and ur crew

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Reblog if you listen to:


Scared! At the Club
Leave the Destiny
Trip Out Guy
Napping With Alarms
Of Rats And Dudes
Close Eyes 182
Whole Time Little
Poke The Veil
My Enzymatic Affair
Dark Veil Grooms

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introducing myself in the first day of school


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"Fred Potter, I actually let your mother name you after the bravest man she knew, instead of making it all about me. Now promise me that you’ll take a picture of McGonagall’s face when she realises the prankster legacy you and James plan to live up to. Awesome. High five.”

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Played: 22822 times

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the origin of Ouija boards is funny if you think about it, like they’re part of another country’s (China) ancient history that was practiced until one emperor decided, “You know what this is probably a bad idea” and banned the practice. 

then centuries later an old businessman comes along and is like “I’m going to take this and market it as a toy to children.”

Which is the exact plot of Yu-Gi-Oh


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Tell me about your bodyHair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Favorite pair of shoes?

posted October 19th via source with 937,886 notes -

Horoscope- What ur zodiac sign says about you !


Taurus- Bull horn wimp

Gemini- Other guy

Cancer- Krabkrab

Sagittarius- Smelly horse man

Capricorn- Honk friend

Aquarius- Cape douche

Aries, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces- Tha bitches

posted October 19th via source with 7,348 notes -
reading a foreign language you're trying to learn: lol this is easy I understand so much of this
trying to construct sentences in that language: wtf am I doing jesus take the wheel where is wiktionary

posted October 19th via source with 173,177 notes -